The Inferno Report

Hi! I’m Mischief Malachite, the youngest scorch scholar of the Ashpit Academy, and today I’m reviewing the brand-new Doom-Doodle Slime Squid from

By Lucius Brimstone If you’re keeping a tally of contradictions on a scorched slate, add another notch. As the embers of a

By Hank Hellbound, your horned herald of hype and high heat Gather ‘round the brimstone, fiends and fanatics—Hank Hellbound here, broadcasting live

By Vernon Vexfire, reporting from the soot-choked alleys of Cinderabad with a coffee that tastes like regret and battery acid. A delegation

Citizens of the Abyss, it’s me, Quinn Qryptic—call me Q—the only voice brave enough to gargle molten truth without a fireproof bib.

By Vernon Vexfire, filing from the Soot-Slick Quay of Brimvale In a move so predictable even the Damned Oracles yawned, the Infernal

By Vincent Volcano, retired director of Eternal Ember and Inferno’s Gate, now begrudgingly seated in Row Hades, Screen 3 Flames Fade, but

By Lucius Brimstone In the blistered archipelagos of the Brimstone Belt—namely the Scorchipelago of Cinderesia, the Sulfurng Kingdom, and the Emberpines—fish stocks

Greetings, sinners and silicon enthusiasts! I’m your host, Techie Tormento, the only devil who benchmarks by molten drip-rate and measures battery life

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